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Is My Child Doing It Right?


All parents are concerned about how their child is behaving in class. But our music classes don't have the same expectations as, for example, a classroom at school. Check out these observations from a wise parent:


“My son is wandering around the outskirts of the circle. In spite of myself, I’m worrying that he isn’t enjoying the program, not learning and advancing like the others in the group. We all want the best for our children. In our performance- and competition-oriented culture, we are concerned about what others are thinking about our child, and ultimately, our parenting skills. We are sensitized to the belief that everything our child does reflects on us, even though we know that children are individuals in their own right. It is so tempting to compare.


It is encouraging to know that in our music class, emphasis is placed on ‘the process’ of learning and the careful avoidance of expected child responses as performance measurement. Each child’s response to music is unique, due to his or her special interests, abilities, personality and developmental level. Some primarily observe; others eagerly participate.


I knew everything was a success in my son’s terms when I heard one evening, as I prepared supper, ‘Bah bah, Bah, bah’ and saw him tossing a receiving blanket into the air and catching it like our class scarf routine. I knew all was well when he was reading on the couch and burst into song, ‘Bow Wow Wow, Whose Dog Art Thou’ and pointing to a picture in an old book of mine, saying, ‘They match!’ All was right, too, when in the car en route to a friend’s home he sang, ‘See how I’m bumping, bumping, see how I’m bumping like a bump,’ and laughed as we rode over the speed bumps. He had (albeit while standing outside the circle in class one day) observed, processed, digested, and interpreted the lessons and applied them in his daily activities.


There’s still the odd day when I’m tired and my emotional mind casts a shadow of doubt on my intellectual mind as my son circles the periphery of the circle and hides under my legs when singled out in the ‘Hello’ song. Most of the time, though, I know that he is learning, having fun, and participating. We as parents and caregivers can help most by not letting our doubts about ourselves interfere with our child’s enjoyment and experience of music. Let’s relax and appreciate the unique individual who is our child.”

-Erika Brodie (parent in an early childhood music class, Edmonton, Alberta; slightly edited.)

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